:: The S.I.C.L.E. Cell ::

:: Monday, April 18, 2005 ::

An email with permission:

"Dear Ashli,

I can't even pretend to know what you've been through (and are still going through), especially with people "compassionately" telling you to Get OverIt. I guess it's human nature to pass judgment on another person and go so far as to tell them "If you keep picking at that thing, it's never gonna heal." As if it would anyway.

I'm not sure how I got to your blog, and I don't think it matters much anyway. I've been reading through it for hours now, learning new things, and looking at things from a different perspective. See, I was one of those non-vocal "It's a woman's right to choose," and"I'm pro-choice, but I would NEVER--" You probably hear from them all the time.

When my best friend became pregnant (the situation was complicated, I guess, in the way that moments of complete and utter hedonism tend to get), she KNEW she couldn't have another kid. See, she had no job and no money...oh sure, she had family that was extremely supportive of her either way, but see, her son from a previous relationship, well, he's an only child and she couldn't burden him with a little brother or sister in good conscience. I bit my tongue because I love her unconditionally and I support a Woman's Right to Choose, yo.

Reading through your blog, I realize I don't have such a good grip on a Woman's Right to Choose. My Choice happened to be giving birth to both my kids (the oldest was a surprise, and I probably would have made the same choice to carry her if I had known before her birth that she'd be autistic). Of course, my man and I couldn't afford her while he was working part time, making $500 a month, with $300 of it going to rent. We stuck it out, and thank God we did.

I don't have a point to this, only to tell you that I can't say I would NEVER have an abortion... I just haven't been put into a situation serious enough to think I warrant, nay, deserve one. I've been lucky. I can't say I wouldn't, because I've never been through anything as serious as HG. Things change when we're under torture, LITERAL torture, and I can't blame you for what you did.

As for the people who tell you to hurry up and get on with your life, I doubt they're walking in your shoes. I've read the I'm Not Sorry stories (the ones I could stand to, anyway), and if they're the picture of emotional health, I worry for the world. Hooray for them not being sorry, but will they be sorry later? Will they be able to look their children they might have in the future in the eye and say the same thing? Will they have as much bravado if little Johnny or Susie asks them about it, or will they go to great lengths to keep their kids from finding out?

Our reaction toward the termination of our unborn, our smallest, our most defenseless, seems to be a direct representation of how we feel about all human beings. I used to think of Norma McCorvey as a turncoat, publicity-hungry, yellow brain-washed by the moral majority. Maybe she is, but now I'm not so sure.

I read about Partial-birth abortions (Myths! Lies! Urban Legends!) being performed on babies born with cleft palates. Why? Oh, right, the inconvenience of having to walk a tiny kid through dozens of surgeries. You know, it's better off that children are never born with any kind of defect at all. I wish someone would tell me eugenics is dead. I dare them.

I started at the top of your blog, and I'm about a third through, I guess.Things do happen for a reason, although rationalizing it that way isn't a comfort in any circumstance. I myself am comforted by the way you've walked a few young women away from the pain that haunts you. The way you've comforted them and helped them. The way your insights have helped me change my mind. Do what you can and love your boy and girl and keep up the good work, sister.

I wish I could offer more."

Awww... shucks, ma'am.

:: ashli 3:26 PM # ::
...

"Prolife is a feminist issue, because what we need aren't more abortions. What we need are laws that mandate the employers whom we serve to make the workplace more mother-and-baby friendly. We aren't female enunchs--we're women. Not pseudo-men--women, the cradles of life. We shouldn't have to castrate ourselves and murder our children to please men, who still run the economy and the society."

Right on!

:: ashli 5:10 PM # ::
...

Listening to an old Depeche (Mode) CD today. I had to laugh. I remember tooling with my friends to "Dragon Park" in Nashville, Tennessee, blaring this tape as loudly as the speakers would push it. Dude, we thought it was soooo cool. Listening to it now, it's like a flippin Casio on crack! Our kids are going to think we were such dorks.

I'm sure most of the folks who read this blog were pretty buttoned up in high school. I, on the other hand, wore black, dated a straight-edge, non-racist, skinhead skater, and would have had blue streaks in my hair had I not also made a side trade of modeling. Still, I was a fairly "good girl".

Ummm, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Depeche's magic Casio...

I laughed this afternoon not only at the bubblegum techno, but at the lyrics, which were pretty bad, very elementary. Fairly sweet for a bunch of deranged mall rats. How many times did our bunch as young girls pop in "Somebody" and hit "repeat" for an endless score of adolescent pining? Ahhhh, youth!

It's funny how we viewed those lyrics then. Today, for the first time, I heard something I hadn't before when listening to "It's Called a Heart". Namely:

"There's something beating here inside my body
And it's called a heart.
You know how easy it is
To tear it apart.
If I lend it to you
Will you keep it safe for me?
I'll lend it to you
If you treat it tenderly.
There's something beating here inside my body
And it's called a heart."

And in the second half of my life, that is, the life that began the moment after abortion, no lyric rings more true than this:

"There's a lot to be learned;
And you learn
when your heart gets burned."

:: ashli 3:13 PM # ::
...

Lots of interesting subject matter going around out there right now. So much I want to comment on. (All hail Aa for dang near every link on this entry.)

Naaman and Aa have been talking about Beninato's site and blog. Beninato has been the talk of the town since her interview with World. Personally I LOVE this woman! Her site is great! Especially the gateway photo that reminds us all that 1.15 million people marched for abortion and were "not sorry". I like the photo because it, along with some exceptionally sloppy photoshopping, allows for a convenient representation of the people killed, at least in part, by the advocacy of those comparitively few marchers:



Beninato's blog is just as fabulous as her site, and I hope she keeps it up... because the average American, from the very marrow of her bones, recoils from the attitudes of Beninato and her gang of mothers who feel no ethical conflict regarding killing their own children.

Chair of the National Counsel of Women's Organizations, Martha Burke, says:

"I think we’ve clearly lost the terminology war. They keep coming up with very reasonable-sounding restrictions, and we are unable to counter that. … The movement is in a bind."

Because of things like technology (click on ultrasound link in top bar) and continued (graphic warning:) "photojournalism", apparently, lyin' ain't working for the "choicesters" anymore. So it's not surprising that the new move is to simply embrace the truth:

"I killed my child... and I'm OK with that."

Well, BRA-VO. Paint a giant abortion-advocacy flag with those true crimson colors and raise it smashing through the roof of sanity. Fly it over America, because those of us who oppose the bloody agenda need all the help we can get. I don't care how "not sorry" a mother feels; the abortion cause is an ugly pity and its pride is a major turnoff.

Despite what some abortion advocates might convey, post-Roe kids, the ones that survived, have been nursed on the teat of "choice" unto adulthood, suckled on deceptive slogans that had us believing that abortion was freeing, liberating, equalizing, sacred, a right. (And rights are good, aren't they?) Ridiculous, but we bought it anyway, because it was in our school books, in our movies, and on the lips of our mothers as they simultaneously kissed us and sent our siblings to the dark halls of death.

I don't know about anyone else, but I grew up reading Our Bodies, Ourselves and I don't recall even ONE quote, in the chapter on abortion, from a woman who felt negatively about her SICLE. I only read good things and saw photos like (graphic warning:) this one. (They didn't have 40 million of (grapic warning:) these to dump on the balance.) Such portrayals left one with the sense that abortion did involve something, but perhaps it was more a medical procedure than anything else. More like pulling a tooth than pulling the plug.

I am mainly to blame for my SICLE (self-imposed child loss experience). Despite the glossy packaging, despite the slogans and terminology, I should have known better. It was thoughtless of me. But as I say, "pro-choice" was Mother's milk, and I grew up on it. I was deceived. Period.

So it's about time America's little girls started hearing that there just might be something wrong with abortion. It's about time women who have experienced the tremendous emotional morbidity speak up. Abortion as a glorious right was the status quo. But abortion's "marks" are now making bridges of their grief so that other women will have the chance to walk over the black and endless pit without falling in.

Ultimately, my deep regret and another's strong impenitence don't account for squat. I live in an area where people still tie a litter of puppies in a burlap sack and drop them in the local river without batting an eye, without being sorry. While this reflects on the individual's nature, it does not reflect on the nature of the act itself. If the person is sorry, if the person is not sorry, it remains a heinous act either way. Some things are right, some things are wrong. Some things really are as simple as that.

I know a 5-month-old right now. His birthmother lives in poverty and has no interest in putting her son first or doing anything to change the circumstances of her life. She has five other children, all by different dads, all taken away from her by the state, all adopted out. Her little boy has been taken away from her several times since his birth, and she often willingly, temporarily relinquishes him to the state (in lieu of paying for a babysitter). When in her care the baby sleeps in his carseat which is infested with "Palmetto bugs"... which, here in Florida, is a nice way of saying "big arse cockroaches". While he sleeps they munch on his tiny body. He has sores from being bitten by the vermin where his mother lives (with boyfriend-of-the-week): in a rat's nest above a slummy game room. This is when she is not living in a homeless shelter and simultaneously trying to get pregnant. The state doesn't have a problem with the roach bites, because poverty is not a crime. Her five-month-old will spend his infancy going back and forth between his birthmother and foster care until one or the other gets him for keeps.

His birthmother is not sorry.

When I see this little fellow, I scoop him up and wrap my arms around him. My heart aches for him as I look into his eyes while speaking softly and stroking gently his fuzzy temples. Though he is in a terrible situation and I hate it, nothing in me wants to kill him to get him out of it. His life is a living hell; he is literally roach snacks at the moment. Even so, I dare say most abortion-supporters would not advocate killing him. But this is what we are talking about. This is what we are ALWAYS talking about when abortion is the subject.

The issue isn't one of feeling sorry or not. The issue is whether or not it is ok to take a child's life away from him/her. My sorrow will not end abortion, and another's remorselessness will not perpetuate it, not ultimately. Ultimately, the children will end abortion with their very humanity. I have to believe that there will come a day when even the most selfish among us can deny it no longer.

Some of us are scared having watched Terri Schiavo starved/dehydrated to death, but I believe, in a rare hopeful moment on my part, that these are the things that will collectively push America's conscience to the edge. And hopefully there will be a long-overdue backlash such as America's duped nihilists have not yet seen. In short, I cling to the hope that there is going to be a day where it's all we can stands, and we can't stands no more. Because we're killing children and disabled people now, and I'm not sure how much lower we can go as a nation.

I digress.

Speaking of speaking out, a related issue has been raised by Sydna regarding the type of women who should (and should not) talk publicly about their SICLE. I am fascinated by the concept that some are not fit for talking about their own experience and found the article really interesting. It cheesed me off, but I was fixed for the entire piece.

One of the requirements-according-to-Sydna, was that the speaker should be one who shows no emotion or, at least, one who does not cry or experience vox fluctuations that might be deemed emotional or frought with anger.

I nominate these two for post-abortion speaking:



Confidentially, I always bawl when talking about it publicly. I can't help it. I try not to. Prior to going before a committee, the self-administered pep talk goes something like this:

"Listen here, Cookie. Keep it dry. After all, some of these people are abortion advocates who would still be here on behalf of abortion even if you had died and the abortionist had stuffed your body down the garbage disposal in pieces. Your baby was just a "fetus" to them. The occasional dead mom is a shame but, to them, ultimately collateral damage, the price paid for full access... otherwise they'd be fighting for stringent health regulations and they're not. They're fighting against them. So don't give them your innards, girl, that secret place where you're broken down. They'll see you bleeding. They'll go for it. So toughen up. Bite the bullet. Throw your 'pickled punk' on the table and walk away."

And then I take the stand. And here's how it goes:

"My name is Ashli ******, and exactly eight years ago my husband and I...

my husband and I...

we...

(Self-talk going on in head: "Get it together girl. You're blowing it. You're sucking full-on. Just spit it out!)

My husband and I lost our first child in a second-trimester abortion at Orlando Women’s Center due to a severe debilitating pregnancy-related maternal illness."

I stumble over that first sentence. My voice lowers ten octaves. I could tell it a million times and I would have the same tremendous difficulty pushing the words out for God and everyone to hear:

"I killed my child."

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it. Who wouldn't be delighted to say these words? Who wouldn't be proud to wear that on a T-shirt?

Blogging it, tapping away in haloscan, writing about it... it's vaporous. Semi-safe. Not as evocative as standing up and naming it; presenting in front of warm bodies and emptying my nasty little pockets down to the linty liner is a different beast altogether. I warned a friend of mine who wanted to speak at a Silent No More rally.

She told me she could handle it, that her three aborted children were really only an issue to her because, after converting to Christianity she knew, on a spiritual level, that it had been wrong. (Yes, she said that, so yes, that is the mindset of some.) She informed me that outside of that, it just wasn't an issue for her personally, so there was no emotional component at all. I was curious about her reasons for wanting to speak at this rally. I guess it was purely religious motivation. Anyway, she went.

When she arrived, everyone was given a rose to hold in memory of their children. Something about this rose knocked her off her feet. Looking at it, fingering it, she realized all at once that the kids who were gone from her life were real. The chick who distributed the roses wasn't looking for this response; she was just trying to be sweet, comforting, honoring. But the floodgates opened. My friend turned to me with the wind knocked out of her. "I haven't dealt with it," she panicked. "I haven't dealt with it!" The tears came, but she could not be dissuaded. She spoke, faltering a little. She was heard by others and herself.

The point is, every woman who aborts her child has, especially, the right to speak about abortion, her own experience in particular, whether she is nuts, the sanest person on earth, whether she can sinch that figurative girdle tightly around her emotions as she speaks or whether she clouds up and rains all over her testimony, be she professional with a command over ten-dollar words, non-professional with a pocket full of nickel words, religious, non-religious, abortion-advocating, abortion-opposing, you name it. None of it, I think, will help or hurt abortion as law. That can only happen with a judicial review of the evidence regarding the nature of the unborn child. That is not what speaking out is about.

Speaking out is a way of balancing the very public scales that have been tipping in favor of death and private sorrow for more than 30 years now. It's a way of challenging the status quo and an opportunity to issue the warning that, while some are admittedly feeling no pain regarding their stint in stirrups, perhaps the listener should think twice before assuming the position, because she just might be sorry.

:: ashli 7:50 PM # ::
...

Watch O'Reilly tonight. Patte says a friend of hers (a "sidewalk counselor") is going to be on discussing the mother who was arrested for attempting to talk with her daughter in an abortion facility.

(This story was bumped from tonight's schedule due to "more pressing" news, but the word is it will be rescheduled for sometime next week.)

:: ashli 4:28 PM # ::
...

Stanek!
(Don't miss photos of the infamous "comfort room".)

:: ashli 9:08 PM # ::
...

Patte time, baby!

"Orlando Women's Center Abortion Facility
Saturday, April 9, 2005
6:15am to 10am

**"Pam" reluctantly accompanied her friend "Regina. Although Regina's boyfriend has held a gun to her and beaten her repeatedly, she is addicted to him. Pam has taken Regina in and offered to help her escape to another state to have and raise her baby. She even offered to raise Regina's child herself. When all of her offers failed to persuade Regina from killing her infant, Pam figured that she'd drive her to the killing place.
Pam admitted: "I feel bad. Abortion isn't right. I know that. But, what else could I do? She was coming here anyway."

We told Pam that she should have been completely forthright, loving her friend enough to tell her to her face: "Regina, you know that I am your friend. You know that I love you like a sister. I've already told you that I would help you get away from your no good boyfriend, place the baby for adoption, I will even raise your baby myself. Those are the things that I WILL do for you. But there is something that I WON'T do. I love you but I can't and I won't help you kill this little baby."
Pam was convinced that she'd brought her friend to a slaughterhouse. She asked: "Am I in trouble with God for coming here with her?"

We helped Pam see that she could do something right and good NOW. We asked Pam to go inside, sit with her friend and try her hardest to convince Regina not to kill her child. She went back inside and reasoned, begged, plead with her friend. Nothing. Pam finally told Regina that she couldn't, in good conscience, remain with her if she was going to dismember her living son or daughter.

Regina actually turned to Pam and said: "It's obvious to me that this abortion is harder on you than it is on me. Go home if you want to. I can catch a taxi when it's all over."
And that's exactly what Pam did. She left her friend to kill and in her abandonment Pam revealed what true friendship really is.

**25-year-old Celia arrived with her father. As I spoke with her and showed her our special info packet, she brushed me aside, saying: "Listen, I know all about this. This isn't my first time."

I asked Celia: "How many abortions have you had?"
Celia said: "A lot."
I pressed her: "How many?"
She responded: "I said, a lot!"
I asked again: "Celia, how many abortions have you had?"
Celia shot back: "Five!"
I asked if she had any living children.
"Yes, I have two."

In sum, this was her EIGHTH pregnancy. At 25, Celia was about to kill her SIXTH child. And what did her dad have to say about all this?

"Get the f*#* away from here and mind your own business!"

**"YVONNE" brought a friend to kill her fifth child. Both Yvonne and her friend are professing Christians who believe:

"God is gracious. We all sin. Abortion isn't right, we know that, but God is merciful."

I brought out the slip of paper on which I have printed Hebrews 10:26 & 27. Yvonne looked very serious as she read the powerful, haunting words out loud:

"If we sin willfully after receiving knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for our sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment ..."

I reminded Yvonne about the "many" who will call out to the resurrected Jesus Christ in all His glory and power. Then I asked her if she remembered what He will say to those "many" in that day?
Yvonne answered solemnly: "Depart from Me, I never knew you."
Yvonne seriously contemplated these things silently for a minute or two. Then, she dismissed the Word of God, saying: "It's all about grace anyway."
Yvonne chided me: "Now, you know a lot about scripture and a lot about God, but you shouldn't be here intimidating people with your knowledge."
I brought the video of a live abortion out to show Yvonne what we were talking about. She laughed and pushed my portable DVD player away. "Come on now," she said. "I'm hungry and that is sure gonna ruin my appetite."

**"Carl" brought his girlfriend "Sharon" explaining, "We don't care about this baby. We don't want 'it'. It's not the right time. She already has a kid. And, let's put it this way, if she did have 'it', I told her that I'd raise the child with me. Right now, we're alright with killing 'it'."
Carl's two sisters came along to "support" Carl while Sharon killed their nephew or niece.
Carl's sister said: "The fact that Sharon is willing to do this shows how she really feels about my brother."

**"Will" drove his girlfriend "Stephanie" to kill their baby. As he got out of his car Will turned to me and said: "We're not interested in what you have to say."
He tried to shield me from speaking to Stephanie, leading her straight back inside the car and shut the door and closed the window. All morning long Will smirked and laughed, "This isn't our first. We've killed 8 babies already, and can't wait to do it again."

When I suggested that there have always been homes and families for these babies. Will turned to me, smiled, and said: "Nah, that wouldn't be any fun now would it? We want to KILL them."

**We overheard 16 year old "Sandrita's" dad "Javier" say, "This isn't right. You shouldn't do this. I don't like this."
His eyebrows were furled and he paced back and forth on the porch of the clinic. His lovely daughter was killing his grandbaby. Gina reached out to him. Javier admitted: "I don't approve of this at all. She's only 16 though and this is what she wants. More than that, this is what her mother Suzy wants."
Gina encouraged Javier saying: "You are the man, the head of the household. Lead your family. You say what should happen here, Javier. Take your precious daughter away from here. This child is a blessing to your family. You will never regret supporting Sandrita through the pregnancy."
Then, something precious happened... He took his Sandrita away from the slaughterhouse. Javier took his daughter home!

**At 9:15am Marianna came running over to me, out of breath. A woman had pulled up in front of the clinic and was asking for help! What a a delight to meet a very happily pregnant (8 months!) "Lora Lee"! This 22-year-old single mom happened to be driving by and noticed our mobile unit with the sign offering ultrasound. She wondered if we could help her. I introduced myself and she took gratefully took my hand. I asked "What do you need?"
Lora Lee responded shyly, "I very much need maternity clothes."
I got Sheri, who works at TLC Women's Center, and introduced her to Lora Lee. When she explained how much help she could get at TLC, Lora Lee was excited. Sheri and Lora Lee enjoyed getting to know one another as embarked on their journey of friendship and true feminism.

The center provided her with LOTS of beautiful things to wear and Lora Lee left smiling with a big bag of clothes. TLC invited Lora Lee to return for a lovely layette when her baby was born. Sheri and Lora Lee became ready-made friends and happily exchanged telephone numbers. They've already made plans to go garage sale-ing together.

Lora Lee is a professing Christian and a member of a Haitian Baptist church. She is a single mom of an 8-year-old. She works full time. The baby she is carrying is due in June. Lora Lee explained that she might marry the father of her baby (who lives in Haiti) in a year or two.

Many more of our "neighbors", to quote Mr. Rogers, were there at the abortion facility. There was a woman named "Lucy". "Jason" accompanied his sister "Stacy". Many names were never spoken. So many lost women and men, so many infants' bodies were violated, destroyed, and disgarded like trash.

Abortionist Randall Whitney, the man of many faces, arrived at 9:15am. The bloodshed commenced. Randall Whitney, professing man of God, former elder of his church, active weekly Bible study participant, cleans pots as a committed volunteer at a soup kitchen every month. This child-killer, woman-maimer identifies himself as a post-modern Christian, and arrived to end the precious lives of over a dozen innocent people before sitting down to lunch.

As I packed up to leave "Will" came over to me and said: "Excuse me, maam. May I have that poster of that aborted baby? I really like it. I want to have it framed and put it on my wall."
I told Will that I couldn't give him that one but said that he could have the beautiful adoption bumper sticker instead.
He said "Why would I want that? That's not what we're doing."

Sheri and I went out for breakfast together after getting verbally abused all morning, the usual. As we talked about the morning and enjoyed the sweet relief of hanging out with sane and caring friends, our waiter Frank overheard our conversation.

He opened up and asked us about ourselves. As he was picking up the creamers, he stopped for a minute, looking very reflective. Frank admitted that before he "came out" he was sleeping with a woman. When she became pregnant, he encouraged her to allow him to raise the child or make an adoption plan. She wanted him to marry her "or else".

His girlfriend murdered their baby and now, 9 years later, he speaks with open sorrow and regret. Frank will never have another child. Sheri and I were able to share a bit of the gospel with Frank and he hurried off to answer the call of another customer. We left Frank a big tip and words of encouragement from God."

:: ashli 8:39 PM # ::
...

"It isn’t hard at all to convince ourselves that we are good if we think about it long enough. We know all the facts, so we can find all of the excuses for ourselves. What is hard is acknowledging our own shortcomings and trying to come face to face with the woman in the mirror who has killed her child to further her own interests."

:: ashli 4:27 PM # ::
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Ever the T-shirt fanatic, I am jazzed to report a T-shirt sale over at HH. My personal fave is the one with the baby that says "Keep your laws off MY body!"

This one is pretty rad as well.

Don't forget anti-choice T-shirt day!

Cheap T-shirts...
Nirvana!

:: ashli 5:51 PM # ::
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Permalinked, baby! (Thanks, Aa.)

:: ashli 8:58 AM # ::
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Another round, another advance for a sane law. Opponents of the bill have asked where women will go when an abortion clinic can't (or won't) meet health and safety requirements outlined in this bill. Proponents of the bill answer: "How about a different abortion facility that is actually safe?"

Haha, an abortion business that is "safe"! Oh man. It's great to start the day off with a good laugh.

:: ashli 9:56 AM # ::
...

It's Patte time...

"Every week I meet teens who are aborting here in Orlando, Florida. I'll never forget one 16-year-old named Tammy who'd been involved with a 26-year-old man. She came for an abortion saying: "My dad is a police officer. I can't tell him about the pregnancy because my boyfriend will get in even MORE trouble. He's already in jail. I don't want to add to his time."

I have personally witnessed a girl of 11 having a labor and delivery abortion at 5 months and a 15-year-old having a labor and delivery abortion at 38 weeks, which is full term!

We have watched tearfully when mothers tried to stop their daughters from aborting, only to be told that they had to leave the abortion facility, that it was their daughter's "choice".

No, these infants with beating hearts are not "choices" or "decisions" they are people!

The following story from Illinois is a tragedy. Something needs to be done and SOON!

Together we can make a difference! Stand up, Speak up and Never give up until every American child is safe."

Mother arrested for attempting to intervene in her 14-year old's decision to have abortion
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
By Joyce Morrison, Southern IL News Correspondent

(For legal reasons, the names of the family and the 14-year old girl that are the subject of this story have been withheld at this time.)

GRANITE CITY - A Sothern Illinois woman was arrested last week (March 17) after trying to intervene on behalf of her 14-year old daughter's effort to have an abortion. The girl was allegedly taken to an abortion clinic by the mother of the man allegedly to have impregnated the 14-year old.

According to the girl's mother, her 14-year-old daughter was called off from school in Madison County by a woman posing as the girl's grandmother. The woman took the girl from her home only minutes before the girl's mother returned home from work.

It was later determined that the woman who had posed as the "grandmother" to the school authorities was the mother of the male who had fathered the unborn child the 14-year-old girl was carrying. The age of the male has not been released.

When the parents were notified their pregnant daughter was not at school, they suspected she had been taken to the Hope Abortion Clinic in Granite City. The parents and grandfather were the only persons authorized to request school absence for the fourteen-year-old female.

"My husband and I rushed to the abortion clinic where we saw our daughter's name on the roster and the time she had checked in," the mother said. She then went into the clinic and searched a room filled with young women awaiting abortions but did not see her daughter.
She took a seat near the main desk. She said, "I was told I could not prove my daughter was there so I began calling her name. A medical tech at the clinic told me , 'It's your daughter's rights, it's her body. You have no rights.'"

After continuing to call out her daughter's name and telling her "don't do it," authorities were called and the mother was arrested.

The 14-year-old told her mother she could hear her but when she asked employees to give her mother a message, they came back to the room and told her that her mother had left.
Angela Michaels, of Small Victories Ministry, was tipped off as to what was happening at the Hope clinic. According to Michaels, she witnessed police placing the mother's hands behind her back, taking her into custody. As the police were putting the mother in the squad car, she was crying out, "Please, please, help me...my daughter is in there."

Michaels said, "Exactly one hour later at 10:35 a.m., the 14-year-old emerged from the clinic looking disheveled. The 14-year-old told us that employees kept her in a quiet room until the procedure was performed and she was told that her mother had left."

Employees assured this girl on her departure, "No one will ever know you were here, we'll bury your records."

In the meantime, the woman who had taken the girl for the abortion was slipped out the back door of the clinic.

The police in the community in which the family lives allegedly told the girl's mom that they couldn't intervene despite her making a charge that her daughter had been raped (by statute) because the charge was stale--7 weeks after the incident. They did tell the girl's mom that, while she had no right to stop the abortion, she did have a right to go into the clinic and speak to her daughter.

The parents are expected to file charges.

:: ashli 9:20 AM # ::
...

I hear the wee (differently-abled) bairn has been spoken for!

We're talking about a kid with a missing jaw, no arms and only one leg. No telling what type of exposure or other challenges.

Don't EVER tell me there is EVER such a thing as an unwanted child!!!

Every child IS a wanted child!

:: ashli 9:42 PM # ::
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Anyone want a baby?

A little boy was born today with no arms, only one leg and missing a good portion of his jaw - but his prognosis is good! The baby was abandoned by his birthmother under the Florida Safe Haven law and, unless potential adoptive parents can be found quickly, the child will become a ward of the state (and, it is feared, perhaps even the target of euthanasia).

The Florida Department of Children and Families will not become involved unless information is obtained that may suggest some type of abuse or neglect (which is not evident at this time).

So email me, and come pick up your son (before someone beats you to him)!

:: ashli 10:42 PM # ::
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OK one more...

The reporter asked Felos how Terri's death could be described as a "death with dignity" when she was "starved to death."

"I'm sure you know that's an inaccurate question," Felos retorted. "Patients don't starve to death by removal of artificial nutrition and hydration."

Oh really? What, praytell, do people who go 13 days without food or water die from? Chicken pox?

Oh, and for the record, Felos doesn't kill women, he just helps them along with the "death process".

:: ashli 6:47 PM # ::
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It's Patte time...

"Saturday, April 2, 2005
Orlando Women's Center

Gina, Larry, Richard, Sheri, Gina, Ken, Marianna, Allura, Nathan,Jesse, John, Kim, Pastor Jim, Jennifer, Patte, Rich and Vicki stood in the rain for the glory of God and in defense of their neighbors in front of Orlando's most notorious abortion business, Orlando Women's Center.

When the door of the clinic opened at 7am there were approximately 20 people lined up to go inside. Cars continued to stream in. We reached out to everyone as they drove into the driveway, when they parked their car, and as they walked to the door of the abortion business. Let me introduce you to a few of the women and men we met:

"Gisele" was one of the first to arrive in a truck with a friend named Donna and a very old, bearded man. They parked in the back parking lot and I called to them from a distance. Donna opened the door, leaned out and said: "She's carrying the devil's baby."

They refused to take our information packet and rolled the window back up. After Gisele went inside,Donna & the bearded one left in their car to get something to eat. The old man gave us the finger as he drove past. Larry wondered aloud: "That man is not long for this world. The Lord could take him at any moment. You'd think he'd have more of a sense of his own mortality."

"Sue" arrived with her reluctant boyfriend "Ronnie". It was obvious that Ron was opposed to the abortion. He tried to get his girlfriend Sue to come into our mobile unit to have a free ultrasound. He was visibly against Sue's decision to kill his infant. The valiant sidewalk counselors encouraged Ronnie to re-double his efforts to get Sue out of the abortion mill. As so many other men before him, Ronnie seemed to give up. Jesse called out to all the men; "Do what a man should do. Step up to the plate and do what's right. Take her away from this place and take responsibility for your child."

"Monique" and her friends parked on the street and walked toward the abortion business. High School student Monique burst into tears when shesaw Gina holding the big CBR "Choice"(Sign #1) bearing the photo of an infant who had been aborted at 10 weeks gestation. She ran back to her car, her two friends hurrying after her. They drove to the back of the clinic to escape our bold witness but the lot was full.

After they parked out front, I approached the car to offer my help. Monique was still crying, too upset to get out of the vehicle. I bent down and tried to ask the teenage mom; "What is the number one reason why you feel that you can't have this baby?" Monique's two friends rushed to surround me and tried to bully me into abandoning my efforts to counsel with Monique.

"Jennifer" said, "Get the hell away from here! It ain't any of your business why she is doing this."
I reasoned with Jennifer, explaining "We can help Monique through her pregnancy. I'm here to help your friend."
Jennifer said, "You obviously don't understand. She don't want your help."
I responded, "Monique is obviously not taking this killing of her baby lightly. She doesn't feel right about it and that's a good sign. Adoption is a wonderful way for her to continue her pregnancy with confidence that everything will be all right."
Jennifer bristled, "She came here to kill it so get out of my f-ing face!"
The other friend, Rosa, challenged me: "Are you going to deal with her mom, too? It's her mother who sent her here to have this abortion!"
I assured Rosa that I would behappy to speak with Monique's mother. "We can find a safe place for Monique to live during her pregnancy. She can even continue with her schooling."

Although Jennifer and Rosa remained hard-core determined to get Monique inside the clinic, it was obvious that Monique was very uncomfortable with killing the infant she was carrying.
Monique said, "I don't want to have to walk by all those people!"
Monique understood that our presence was light and she did not want her deed exposed. The 'friends' threw Monique a sweatshirt and said, "Here, cover your face. We'll walk you past those crackers."
Sadly, Monique complied. I walked beside the three as they dragged the pregnant teen all the way to the clinic doors.
I heard Pastor Jim say, "Listen to the voice of God, Monique."
I added, "With God all things are possible."
When they door shut behind them, we were saddened and prayed for the light to shatter the darkness of those three hearts to rescue the fourth, the tiniest heart of all.

"Lucy" came with her friend "Tara". Lucy rushed inside the clinic but Tara sat on the porch for some time, speaking with the sidewalk counselors. Sidewalk counselor Sheri soon discovered that Tara lost a child in an abortion herself and offered her a post-abortion tract from TLC Women's Center. As it turns out, at only 23, Tara had already lost THREE children in multiple abortions. We did our best to counsel Tara that killing a child is NEVER right. When she went to her car to get something, I followed along beside her. I asked "Do you ever think about the babies you've killed?"
She answered, "No, not really."
I prodded, "Tara, is there any part of you that recognizes that it was wrong?"
She admitted, "Yes, of course."
I told her, "God has given you a conscience to guide you away from doing terrible things."
Tara quickly interjected, "Hey, I don't even believe in God."
I explained, "But, God believes in you, Tara. It was Him who created you. And whether you acknowledge it or not, this is His world and these are His children that "thou shalt not kill."

Tara seemed entirely unfazed. I asked Tara to help her friend through her pregnancy. Tara protested, saying, "Listen, it's none of my business."
I offered, "You're wrong, Tara. She is your friend and you must help her do what is right."
When Tara's friend Lucy came out to sit on the porch with her friend, the sidewalk counselors engaged her in conversation. Lucy explained that she is 22-years-old, married and that this would be her second abortion.
"My baby is deformed. I've been taking Accutane (a presciption medication for acne) for six months. I was supposed to keep from getting pregnant, but I didn't use birth control. I'm 8 weeks pregnant. It's my fault. I don't want to bring a deformed baby into this world. It would be cruel."
We gently confronted Lucy with the truth: "Your little boy or girl will be dismembered alive today, Lucy. You can't get any more cruel than that. I don't know whether your child has been damaged by the Accutane, but we don't murder people with defects, Lucy. Imagine being discriminated against because of your acne? Nobody's perfect. People who need help warrant help not death."
Lucy responded, "I don't think it's fair to bring a person into the world to suffer."
I said, "Lucy, your baby will be ripped apart today. That can't be a picnic."
I asked, "Is the thought of having to look into the face of your daughter for the rest of your life hard for you?"
Lucy admitted, "Yes. Too hard."
Ken spoke up, "Please, allow me and my wife to adopt your baby. We will raise her and love her. You won't have to worry anymore."
Lucy explained that she is a Buddhist (Lucy and Tara are both Asian) and "Buddhists forbid adoption."
I reminded Lucy that "Buddhists forbid the shedding of innocent blood. You are always to do no harm."
Lucy justified herself, saying: "It's only once, then it's all over."
I countered, "You are suffering, Lucy, so by your own reasoning, would it be better to put you out of your misery?"
Lucy and Tara were quiet, thoughtful.
I explained, "The Word of God goes even further than forbidding innocent blood and murder, Lucy. It says that God hates the hands that shed innocent blood. Think about that."
Although Lucy smirked and appeared casual, she was listening. She andTara were both listening.
(NOTE: According to the Organization ofTeratology Information Services (OTIS), approximately 25-35% of infants born to women exposed to Accutane during the first trimester of pregnancy showed a pattern of birth defects.)

"Sheila" came with her sister "Tanya". Not knowing which of them was pregnant, I approached Tanya first. She took our ministry packet and began to read.
Tanya admitted "It's not me," and pointed to her sister."But, she isn't going to change her mind, so don't even bother."
I walkedwith Sheila as she approached the clinic, counseling her along the way. She was having a hard time giving me a reason for the abortion. She smiled and thanked me and went into the mill. A few short minutes later Sheila and Tanya came out the door of the clinic. Sheila asked "Can I still have that ultrasound?"
They had noticed our signs offering free sonograms. We smiled and said, "Sure!"
Several counselors piled into the mobile unit with Sheila and Tanya. We discovered that Sheila is 25-years-old and has two children. When Sheri asked Sheila if she was a Christian, Sheila's answer was refreshingly honest: "Well, I go to church, but I'm not sure I'd call myself a Christian. I'm not saved."
Here was a woman who wasn't deceived into thinking that being "in church" was the same as being "in Christ"!

We so enjoyed our time with Sheila and her sister. We were able to see the outline of her little baby, an 11-week-old person. After counseling Sheila we gave her a blessing basket with pre-natal vitamins and Christian literature. I made sure that Sheila had my home phone number. We gathered in a circle and prayed for this young mom and her three children, and they drove away with smiles that were full of hope!

Remember Gisele? She came out of the clinic with Donna and the old man. I offered Gisele help once again and Donna piped up: "She chickened out. She couldn't go through with it!"
She was obviously digusted with Gisele because the young mom didn't have the heart to rip her son to shreds.
I said, "That's wonderful, Gisele!"
Donna shrieked back: "No it isn't! The father is an old black man!"
I remembered Donna's words from early this morning: "She's carrying the devil's baby."
To her, carrying a black man's child was like carrying the spawn of satan. What wretched, wretched ignorance. We've heard this kind of rationale too many times over the years.

Remember the high school girl named Monique? She came out of the clinic, sans the sweatshirt. All of her tears were gone and instead, a look of quiet joy remained. Then came the words we always love to hear: "I'm not going to do it." Monique took our info packet and blessing basket.

We were there standing in the gap, taking the hits for love of God and our fellow man. What a privilege it is to serve."

:: ashli 5:59 PM # ::
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Well, the flowers were getting water...

:: ashli 5:48 PM # ::
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Create your advance directive today.

:: ashli 10:56 AM # ::
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Breathtaking:

"Our family seeks forgiveness for anything that we have done in standing for Terri’s life that has not demonstrated the love and compassion required of us by our faith."

~Bobby Schindler, Terri's brother, on behalf of the Schindler family

:: ashli 10:46 AM # ::
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I know that the thing to do now is to try and let go of bitterness and hostility, to pray for everyone, and to move on. I know these things, but I am angry even so, and I'm going to visit my anger and frustration (over Terri's circumstances) one last time on my way out of this topic.

I had a chance to catch Felos at work in his brief yesterday after Terri died. First, apart from the emotional fodder, I found it curious that Felos kept talking about Terri's right to a dignified, peaceful death experience when his whole justification for death by starvation/dehydration was that she couldn't experience anything. If Terri was in a persistent vegetative state then it wouldn't have mattered to her if her last moments were attended by an order of silent monks or by an order of obnoxious clowns from Barnum and Bailey's circus.

And honestly, I thought Felos had a lot of nerve offering his condolences to Terri's mom, dad and siblings after he fought so hard to kill their child/sister.

I also didn't like his insinuations about Bobby's response to being asked to leave his dying sister's side in what were literally her last minutes of life. It might have been important to Bobby that she have a biological family member present, and words can not express what very poor taste it was to vilify him or blame him for what was probably a somewhat normal response to being completely stripped of any rights as a family member, having his sister legally killed, and then being denied last moments with her. (Really, I'm surprised none of them went postal.)

Felos insinuated that had Bobby's behavior been better, or even for that matter, had Fr. Pavone's comments to the media been nicer (rolling eyes), perhaps Terri's family would have been allowed in the room as she slipped away from life. I dare say, I find such comments cruel and untrue, as the media had been reporting for over a week that Mike had no intention of allowing the Schindlers to be at Terri's side upon her death. It seems to me that Felos is a grand opportunist who used the Bobby and Pavone incidents to lay blame with the Schindlers, and words can not express how awful that is.

Felos made lots of statements that I found absurd and emotionally abusive, and I think anyone who wants to know more about this man's credibility and his passionate love affair with death should read excerpts from his book Litigation as Spiritual Practice:

“As I continued to stay beside Mrs. Browning at her nursing home bed, I felt my mind relax and my weight sink into the ground. I began to feel light-headed as I became more reposed. Although feeling like I could drift into sleep, I also experienced a sense of heightened awareness. As Mrs. Browning lay motionless before my gaze, I suddenly heard a loud, deep moan and scream and wondered if the nursing home personnel heard it and would respond to the unfortunate resident. In the next moment, as this cry of pain and torment continued, I realized it was Mrs. Browning. I felt the mid-section of my body open and noticed a strange quality to the light in the room. I sensed her soul in agony. As she screamed I heard her say, in confusion, ‘Why am I still here … why am I here?’ My soul touched hers and in some way I communicated that she was still locked in her body. I promised I would do everything in my power to gain the release her soul cried for. With that the screaming immediately stopped. I felt like I was back in my head again, the room resumed its normal appearance, and Mrs. Browning, as she had throughout this experience, lay silent.” (73)

Enamoured with his waxing celebrity status he writes:

“I was getting pretty good at trying my case in the media and shaping public opinion. … Developing a good ‘sound bite’ helped, but so did the media’s support of the cause. Some of my best quotes appeared on the editorial pages.” (238)

And:

“…there I was on the holiday news—Mrs. Browning’s white knight, stalwart at his covered desk, intently crafting her plea of last hope to the Supreme Court. Did I love it! And given the strenuous effort, I much appreciated the positive reinforcement.” (242)

Thoughts on separating from his wife:

"I was on fire, fueled by thoughts of bludgeoning and tearing her apart." (pg 23)

I don't know a lot about Felos and the people he has "helped to die". Someone tell me... have they all been women?

In related news...

Mike Schiavo's brother says the rift between Mike and Terri's family might be healed if the Schindler family would only apologize for their less than favorable response to Mike killing their daughter/sister.

Stop the world, I want to get off.

:: ashli 8:47 AM # ::
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Terrible news today.

:: ashli 12:38 PM # ::
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Did you get your T-shirt yet?



For only $5 you too can risk being assaulted!
What a bargain!

:: ashli 9:14 AM # ::
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Many Republicans want Terri Schiavo's husband's guardianship revoked. Some Democrats have lambasted said Republicans charging that it makes them hypocrites. This, I think, is somewhat an allusion to the whole sanctity of marriage/anti-gay marriage platform Republicans generally stand on.

While Democrats cry "Sanctity of marriage!" in the Schiavo case, many Republicans (who are aware of Mike's common-law wife and two children) are asking, "What marriage?"

:: ashli 1:25 PM # ::
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Major news network personalities keep asking why, if Terri Schiavo, on March 18, really tried to say she wanted to live, Barbara Weller is only just coming out with the incident.

Perhaps this will help.

:: ashli 1:03 AM # ::
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Speechless.

:: ashli 10:31 AM # ::
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10 Talking Points On The Schiavo Case

1. There is no way to know whether or not Terri Schiavo gave a verbal advance directive to her husband.
2. There is no way to know whether or not she wants to die now.
3. There is no way to know whether or not Terri does or does not feel pain, and therefore no way to know whether death by starvation/dehydration is painful to her.
4. There is no way to know whether or not Michael Schiavo's motivations are sinister or compassionate, whether he is cruel or simply misguided. There are multiple conflicting reports.
5. Our nation has set up a legal system to deal with matters of life and death and multiple conflicting reports.
6. The judiciary did its job.
7. The situation is now a matter of ethics.
8. Michael Schiavo believes that Terri is not aware of physical or emotional sensation or anything.
9. A person who is not aware of anything has no misery to be "put out of".
10. Michael Schiavo, who has moved on with his personal, romantic life, could exercise compassion on Terri's parents and siblings who are physically and emotionally aware, who are in misery over the situation, and who want to care for Terri for the rest of her life.

My opinion:
Michael Schiavo should give Terri back to the two people who brought her into this world.

:: ashli 8:55 AM # ::
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Getting ready to go and bleed in front of the committee at the Capitol. In mentally preparing, I poured myself a cup of gano-coffee and sat down for a cyber look at the latest news surrounding Terri Schiavo.

All I can say is that I am sickened and appalled. I am sincerely tired of hearing about "Terri's wishes to die" when there is no proof that she wishes or ever wished anything of the sort. In fact, there is some evidence that she does NOT want to die.

I am dismayed at a public who cares more about a judicial process than they do about Terri or her parents. There is less respect for Terri than there is for the umpteen trials she has been through. It would not matter to me if 100 trials honored the hearsay of Michael Schiavo. I see how the courts have honored and continue to honor and even revere the deaths of around 4,000 gestating Americans every single day in this country. It's the new millennium but we are still the same old barbarians.

What is happening to Terri is just another example, a confirmation, of the new world order, an order in which you must prove your value. Being a living human being is not enough, and being vulnerable is deadly.

Can you imagine what the Schindlers must be going through? Not only do they sit powerless as the courts pave the way for their child's death by starvation... but the so-called "silent majority" is cheering.

Once again killing a helpless human being is trumpeted as an issue of "privacy".

For the love of God, people, have your children complete an advance directive or have them fill out a document that establishes you as the proxy should they become incapacitated.

:: ashli 6:45 AM # ::
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Going to the Capitol tomorrow to testify for the Women's Health and Safety Act. I am certain that I'm going to have a tale to tell when I return.

They've tweaked my testimony a bit:

"My name is Ashli ******, and exactly eight years ago my husband and I lost our first child in a second-trimester abortion at Orlando Women’s Center due to a severe debilitating pregnancy-related maternal illness.

At 4 months pregnant, my HMO and physicians deserted me leaving me to deal with a slew of medical problems, among them: liver dysfunction and serious metabolic disturbance. Treatment options existed, but they were not divulged and so were not available to me. I finally gave up and traveled to a second trimester abortion facility where everyone called me “sweetie” before lying to me about fetal development and killing my child. To their credit, I signed papers that told me I might suffer emotionally, that abortion has been linked to breast cancer, and that I might die. These papers even called me a mother, but this kind of keen accuracy was not extended to the record, which omitted the hemorrhage I experienced afterwards. My record also doesn’t list the name of the hospital I was sent to because we were instructed to go to a hotel until it was clear that I was out of danger. We complied and went to the hotel to see if I would live through the night or bleed to death in the tub.

When I later received a copy of my records from the abortion facility, I was shocked to discover that they did not accurately reflect the events of that evening. The people at the facility recorded that immediately following a second trimester abortion my bleeding was “scant” and then “none”. I bled for months. My record also states the abortion was “without complication”.

A year later I was told that I had an incompetent cervix. This resulted in 24 related weeks of strict bedrest with my son and as many weeks with my daughter. I did not have an incompetent cervix in my first pregnancy; it was sustained in the second-trimester D&E. I believe medical records should reflect a true account of what occurs in a procedure, because such information may prove vital in an individual’s medical future and because it’s the truth. I believe women who are hemorrhaging bad enough to refrain from returning to their home should not be told to go to a hotel and wait it out.

I filed a complaint (#200009135) with the AHCA, but they didn’t want anything to do with it. In one conversation Ms. Sandy Condo could not even bring herself to say the word “abortion”. The experts admitted that heavy bleeding is not at all uncommon in a second trimester abortion but said it was my word against the abortionist’s and they closed the case review. I had it reopened, but to date have had no satisfying response or action.

Since my ordeal, I have reviewed statutes and codes and I am shocked that abortion clinics have virtually no health and safety regulations. It is a well-known fact that the danger related to abortion grows as a pregnancy advances. I am incredulous that reaching deep into a woman’s body and pulling out organs (which the placenta is) is not considered surgery and thus, such a procedure does not warrant the same high standard of health care as an ambulatory surgery center. Finally, I am disgusted that a veterinarian’s office is more regulated than an abortion facility. That a dog would receive better health care than a woman is as abhorrent as me having to stand here and argue that very point.

Abortion may be legal, but without more stringent health regulations it will never be safe."

People are already thanking me profusely for something I would pay to do (but DO NOT at all want to do). And accolaids are really weird (and hard to take) when you're standing there confessing to the world that you slaughtered your child in the second trimester.

Ugh.

Here we go again.

:: ashli 9:11 PM # ::
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